


The Blood On My Hands Scares Me To Death

by Saoirse_Laochra



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Gladiators, Alternate Universe-Slavery, Benders as Gladiators, Character Death, Child Abuse, Dark, Forced Fighting, Forced Killing, Forced Marriage, Gladiator!AU, Multi, Not for the faint of heart, Slavery, Torture, Underage Rape/Non-con, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:57:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saoirse_Laochra/pseuds/Saoirse_Laochra
Summary: *Rewrite of my piece, 'You Will Remember Me'*In a world where Benders are slaves, the strongest are turned into gladiators, forced to fight in arenas for the amusement of the masses. House Sozin is one of the oldest Ludi in the Three Kingdoms, both renowned, and feared for their brutal training methods, and harsh discipline.Rumors have swirled around the current Champion for years; known as the Scarred Dragon, Zuko is the youngest gladiator to ever earn the title of Champion, and one of the youngest to ever fight in the arenas. Trained under the tutelage of the Dragon of the West -once Champion himself - Zuko is known for his ruthless brutality, and harsh efficiency, and stands as one of the few gladiators to have spent his entire career undefeated.Some say he's the son of the Dragon of the West. Others say he's the bastard child of one of the Great Houses. Among Fire Benders, it's whispered that he's Agni reborn, come to save his people.But whoever he is, he is without question one of the greatest gladiators of his time. In a few years, those who know the games well say he might even replace the Dragon of the West as the greatest gladiator who has ever lived.If he survives that long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You Will Remember Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7606690) by [Saoirse_Laochra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saoirse_Laochra/pseuds/Saoirse_Laochra). 



> Alright folks, so many of you will recognize the first few chapters of this story as a rewrite of my piece 'You Will Remember Me'. Unfortunately, to try and keep a 'T' rating, I edited a lot, mellowed it out, and I believe it's a large part of the reason why I lost interest in this story. I was unable to write it as I had originally intended, as a dark, brutal story with no happy endings.
> 
> So, while I'm leaving 'You Will Remember Me' up, this isn't exactly a rewrite; many things will be changed after the first few chapters, although those have a lot of rewrites as well. It will be much darker, and hopefully, more realistic than You Will Remember Me, with less of a kiddy-friendly feel to it.
> 
> SO AGAIN: BE FOREWARNED. This is not a nice fic. It's got a lot of nasty things, including rape, forced rape, torture, death, child soldiers, and so on. Not for the faint of heart.

“And… _again_.”

The disfigured teenager narrowed his one good eye, glaring up at the elderly, heavy-set man sitting under the pavilion, but he kept silent, sliding back into the starting position for the kata.

Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, feeling the weightlessness of his stance - _left to the front and out, right to the back and pointed right_ -raising his hands, and waiting.

“Begin.”

He began small, short bursts of flame shooting from his fists as he threw two punches, followed up with a swift sliding side kick, quickly transitioning into a twirled spin-kick. Coming down on one hand, he threw himself back to his feet, before sending duel jets of flame shooting straight up into the air.

He kept the flame for a moment longer than required, glaring at the other man from underneath his bangs, before he dropped the pose.

“Very good, Zuko,” Sifu Iroh said pleasantly, taking a sip of his tea. “Your stance was perfect.”

Zuko rolled his eyes as he bounced on his heels. “It’s a _starting_ kata; even the _greenest_ of our fighters can accomplish it.”

“Ah, but it is always good to remember your basics, Zuko. Especially with the new recruits arriving today. You know the Master has ordered you to train them.”

Zuko scoffed as he sat on his heels next to the old man.

“I don’t _want_ to train the new meat,” He said angrily, shaking his head at the proffered cup of tea from the Sifu. “Half of them won’t even survive their first week. Half of the ones who do, won’t amount to anything more than opening game fodder for the main acts. The one or two who might _actually_ have any sort of talent or ability? They’re not going to be Fire Benders, and I’m going to try and turn them to ash in frustration when they refuse to learn the way I teach.”

Irish sighed, setting his cup down slowly. “Zuko… This was not a request. You _must_ teach these new Benders. Master Ozai has ordered it, in the strictest of terms. And after what happened with the last ones… Please, Zuko… Do not risk his wrath again. Not for this.”

“Oh, please. I’m the Champion of Capital City, and Guanjun of Ba Sing Se. I’m taking 20 to 1 on the Northern Water Tribe games. Now I’m supposed to waste my time training them, instead of preparing for my own matches?”

“Do you remember what happened the last time you informed the Master of your _feelings_?” Iroh’s voice was soft, with a sharp edge. “You forget what you _are_ , Zuko. You may be the Champion of House Sozin. You may be one of the best Fire Benders in the Three Kingdoms. You may _even_ be the greatest gladiator in the history of our house. But for all of that, you are still nothing more than a _slave_ , Zuko. With no more power than the new recruits you call meat. Just as I am. Just as those who draw the Master’s bath. You continue to overestimate your worth to Master Ozai and House Sozin. You overestimate who you are, and where you stand. And one day, I fear it will get you more than a burned face, child -it will get you killed.”

He wasn’t exactly surprised when the teenager stood angrily, smoke leaking through his clenched fist as he breathed angrily. He said nothing, though, staring at Iroh with those bright golden eyes, before stomping off across the training yard to his small room.

Iroh sighed, Bending a small bit of fire, warming his tea as he thought.

He wouldn’t deny that the boy had good reason for his healthy-sized ego; Iroh wasn’t exaggerating when he said that the boy was one of the best Fire Benders that Iroh had seen in ages. Perhaps as good -or even better -as Iroh himself had been fifty years ago, when he’d earned the moniker Dragon of the West. There was a reason that, for the first time in the House’s history, the Champion of House Sozin was only barely out of his childhood years. Most notable Houses wouldn’t allow anyone below the age of twenty to enter the arena, which typically left the boy standing victor over men ten, or twenty years his senior.

But the fifteen year old had an absolutely _brutal_ temper, resting on a tip of a knife. While an excellent thing in the arena, it did him no favor in his ludus, well-known across all of the Three Kingdoms as being one of -if not _the_ -harshest ludus in the world. And Ozai was just as well-known as the most brutal master in House Sozin’s long history.

“Sifu?”

Iroh pulled himself from his thoughts, forcing a smile to his face as he turned to look at the young Earth Bender kneeling in front of him.

“Ah, Haru. What can I do for you this lovely morning?”

“I thought that, if you’re finished with the Champion, perhaps we could have a session before the new slaves arrive?”

Iroh chuckled, heaving himself to his feet, feeling his knees creaking beneath him as he stood. “But of course, Haru. We shall have to hurry, though; they’ll be arriving before Agni finds the center of His path.”

“So… are the rumors true?” Haru asked, his voice trying for casual, and failing in his excitement, as he stepped into his position on the sand.

Iroh smiled, a twinkle in his eye as he took up his own position. “Which rumor would that be?”

“You know which -Agh!”

 Iroh shook his head, dropping his stance as the boy yelped, only just pulling up the rock wall in front of him in time to block Iroh’s fire.

“You should concentrate on yourself, Haru. Otherwise, you will not live long enough to see if the rumors are correct,” He said sternly.

As Sifu, it was his job to train all House Sozin’s Benders to survive the arena -a difficult task even at the best of times, given that Lady Luck played as much a part of their lives as skill or training. He’d seen great warriors meet their deaths because of a small pebble, or first-timers to the arena land a killing blow with the first hit they threw.

But he tried his best, and he’d like to think that his best was exceptional, all things considered. He rarely lost more than a handful of men a year, and most of those were -again -the fault of ill-fates or luck.

Or occasionally, over-excitement.

Haru groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing at the back of his head where he’d fallen in his haste to escape a blast from Iroh. The Sifu offered him a hand up, as he pulled him closer to inspect the wound. After a few moments, he nodded in satisfaction. It was a minor wound, although -being a head wound -it would bleed much.

“If your mind had been centered, and focused, that never would have happened, Haru,” He said sternly, looking the boy in the eye. “In the arena, I would have easily turned that to a death blow, and House Sozin would have been minus one young Earth Bender.”

Haru ducked his head sheepishly. “I… Yes, Sifu. Apologies, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Iroh clasped his hand on his shoulder, moving him towards the healer’s tent. “I will admit, Haru… It is an exciting thought. But even if I knew, I couldn’t share that with you, you understand?” At the boy’s nod, Iroh smiled. “Now go get that checked. I won’t have you bleeding to death over a rumor.”

“Sifu Iroh?”

Iroh motioned for Haru to leave, before turning around, a smile on his face as he caught sight of one of the house slaves, leaning against the round entry way to the training yard.

“Why, Mai! It’s been a long time since you’ve graced my aging eyes with your glorious beauty! To what do I owe this undeserved pleasure?”

An eye roll, and the slightest quirking at the corners of her lips were the only expression the teenage girl gave him. Most of the female slaves were well used to his incessant and unceasing flirting, and knew that -unlike most of the men -he meant nothing by it; he’d lost his wife many years ago, and had steadfastly refused to take another, and was one of the few men the female slaves seen as ‘safe’.

But he would admit, that Mai was always a favorite of his to tease. The girl could hide her emotions better than anyone Iroh had never met, keeping a stone face at even his best jokes. At most, he might get a raised eyebrow, or a slight flaring of her nose, on good days.

“Master Ozai would like to see you in his office. Immediately,” She added dryly, gesturing him towards the house.

“Of course, beautiful lotus! After you!”

* * *

 

 Iroh bowed low, hands folded across his chest as he came to a stop in front of the Master of House Sozin, sitting behind his large, mahogany desk.

“You summoned me, Master Ozai?”

The dark haired man looked up from his papers slowly, a small frown on his face.

“Yes. I’m sure by now everyone has heard the rumors?”

Iroh nodded, shifting his weight to his good leg as inconspicuously as possible. “Of course, Master. And they are all talking about it.”

“And your thoughts on the matter?”

Iroh bowed his head respectfully. “I give no credence to rumors, Master.”

“Well, in this case, perhaps you should have. The rumors are indeed true. I have the first Air Bender ever to be caught, and he is arriving this afternoon with the other new slaves. What are your thoughts on the matter?”

Iroh hesitated for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts as quickly as possible. Ozai wasn’t a man well-known for his patience.

“I would say, Master Ozai, that I would have great reservations about training him. I know nothing of Air Bending; their styles, their mannerisms, or even their strengths and weaknesses. I would imagine that, with a few months time, perhaps, we could work out a suitable regimen for the arena.”

“And do you think there’s anyway to make him ready for the Northern Water Tribe games?”

Iroh hesitated. “The one in two months? Or the one next year?”

Luckily for him, Ozai took no offense at his question. “The upcoming fight, Iroh. _Obviously_.”

“I… Permission to speak freely, Master?” When Ozai nodded, Iroh took a deep breath, before plunging in. “I would strongly advise against it. Even if I could work out a training routine, suitable to his style, in such a short amount of time, I fear that there is no way to prepare him, -physically, or mentally -to fight other Benders in the arena. And with such a rare commodity, losing him to a fight because we pushed too fast, too hard, would be a waste. Besides, we have Zuko to fight in the Water Tribe; he will be the one the crowds will be roaring for. The Air Bender should have his own match, carefully selected, perhaps open to only a select audience, and be given the chance to stand in his own glory. Perhaps before the Capital City games in the fall?”

 Ozai thought for a few minutes, before leaning back in his chair. “I can see the wisdom in that. Time to pick an ideal match. To excite the crowds before they even see him, so they’re clamoring for the day they are lucky enough to watch him fight. I agree. You’ll have until the Capital City games to prepare him.”

Iroh bowed again. “Master Ozai, if I may… who else do we have coming in today? For Benders, of course,” He added quickly, making sure that Ozai knew he wasn’t overstepping his bounds.

Ozai waved his hands dismissively. “Nothing much. Honestly, I was rather disappointed with the selection, but I hated to waste the trip. There’s a newly captured Southern Water tribe girl, and a young Earth Bender girl. Apparently the Earth Bender made quite the stir in the underground circuits of Omashu. Let’s see here…” He glanced through his paperwork, before finding what he was looking for. “Ah, yes. Katara, Water Bender, Southern Water Tribe, aged fifteen years, and Toph, Earth Bender of Gaoling, aged twelve years.”

“Twelve? That is… forgive me, Master, but that is incredibly young to be building any sort of name for herself. Few Benders younger than sixteen have ever even stood in a proper arena, much less one of that age. It is unheard of. I hope we don’t intend to try and put her in the games for a few years?”

Ozai’s face darkened, and Iroh immediately bowed his head, regretting his words, but standing by them.

“You will test her, to see if she’s ready, and suitable to fight. If she is, she will enter the arenas next years. Zuko was only a year or so older when he first entered the arena at Capital City, and now he stands as Champion of two nations, and set to take a third. In case you have forgotten, we make _champions_ here, Iroh. We don’t babysit, we don’t coddle. You will either help in that process -setting aside your ‘personal’ feelings on the matter -or I will find someone else to do it. _My_ father let you act above your station, because of who you once were. _I_ will _not_. Do not make me have this conversation again, or you will not like the consequences.”

Iroh bowed deeply. “As you say, Master Ozai. By your leave.” 


	2. Chapter 2

A knock on the door yanked Zuko from his slumber, fighting back the urge to incinerate the door only by the skin of his teeth.

“What?!” He barked, glancing down, and growling as he seen a small spark had hit the bed, and burnt a tiny hole in his blanket. “This better be fucking _important_!”

“Apologies, Champion,” Came the response from behind the door, belonging to one or another of the many house slaves. “Sifu Iroh sent me to get you; the new gladiators are only a bit up the road, and he requests your presence upon their arrival.”

“Tell Sifu Iroh that I’d rather boil myself in oil,” He grunted out, rolling back over.

“I… Apologies, Champion, but I was told to tell you that, if you refuse to come, the Sifu will consider that adequate reason to pull your training time until the Northern Water Tribe games, along with a ration deduction.”

Zuko barely bit back his retort, rolling over, and staring at the door, wishing that he had just blasted the damned thing to pieces.

“Fine. Tell the glorified baby-sitter I’ll be there in a few minutes to help him with the babies,” He snarled.

Pulling himself into a sitting position, he scrubbed one hand through his hair, trying uselessly to push it away from his face. Ozai had ordered him to keep it long, saying that the crowd liked it better, as if that wasn’t some stupid, bullshit excuse for the man’s personal preference.

But he pulled his hand back sharply, when his fingers touched the marred, ruined flesh that covered the upper left side of his face.

He growled, and grabbed the red tunic that marked him as a Fire Bender, before stomping out the door, slamming it shut behind him. 

* * *

 

Iroh turned his sharp gaze towards Zuko, as the boy casually sauntered next to him, falling into a relaxed stance, arms folded across his chest, and a bored look on his face.

“Good of you to join us, Zuko,” He said pointedly, ignoring the eyeroll the boy sent his way. “We have three new Benders joining us today; you will be the primary Sifu for two of them, while I train the third.”

Despite the irritation rolling off the boy in waves, he caught the telltale signs of amazement in him; it was subtle -few people would have been quick enough to catch it -but there was no mistaking the slight tightening of his jaw, his good eye narrowing almost imperceptibly.

“So it’s true then,” He said, his voice dismissive. “He caught himself a mythical Air Bender. He wouldn’t pull you away from me -or the other meat -unless he had something far more important than me. And with the Water Games coming up…” His voice stopped abruptly, his face hardening in anger. “So I’m to spend all my free time baby-sitting, but if I lose the fight, death will be a pleasant alternative to what Ozai will do to me. Yet another beautiful day for the slaves of House Sozin.”

Iroh nervously looked at the Chi-Blockers surrounding them, before turning his gaze back to Zuko.

“Oh of these days, Zuko, your mouth is going to get you killed,” He hissed quietly, plastering his trademark smile on his face as the two large wagons pulled into view.

The boy merely shrugged, a dark look on his face as he stared at the wagons. “There are worse fates,” He muttered, only just loud enough for Iroh to hear him.

A few minutes later, the two wagons pulled to a halt, and six Chi-Blockers went to the backdoors, pulling them both open. Eight people milled out of the first, and five the second.

Most of them were young; between eight and fifteen was the average age for slaves at House Sozin, as Ozai felt that the older ones already had too many bad habits to be retrained. But there were a few older ones; there was an old man, easily as old as Iroh himself, or older, and two middle aged women, while the rest were easily Zuko’s age, or younger.

“Sukki, of Kyoshi.”

As the Chi-Blocker read out the name, a young, red-haired girl stepped forward, her eyes low, shoulders stooped together, as she took small, uncertain steps towards the guards -clearly not a freshly caught slave.

“Toph, of Gaoling, step towards Sifu Iroh, and Champion Zuko.”

Iroh raised one eyebrow at the little girl’s cocky swagger as she moved towards them. While only half Zuko’s height -maybe -the girl walked as if she owned the place, rather than a newly bought slave.

“We’ll have to cut her hair,” Iroh commented, smiling at Zuko as the girl marched towards them. “It will only impede her in the arena.”

Zuko obviously ignored him, but Iroh could see the tightening of his shoulders, and he couldn’t help it as his smile grew. He’d been telling the boy the same thing for a few months, but he’d steadfastly refused to cut it, and Ozai had told him that it was Zuko’s choice, and to leave it be. But he turned his thoughts to other matters, as the girl -Toph -stopped a few feet away, bowing low, before moving to Zuko’s right, placing herself a few feet back to the right of him.

“Katara, of the Southern Water Tribe.”

Iroh felt a flash of pity for the dark-skinned girl who stepped forward. About Zuko’s age -perhaps a year or two young at most -the girl was still dressed in the heavy furs that were common among her people, obviously the cause of the sweat pouring down her face. Her stance was an interesting mix of fear, determination, and the slightest touch of defiance -unsurprising, as Ozai said she was only newly captured. The slaver had told Ozai that she and her brother had hid what she was from the time she was a young child, which had lead to both of their slavery.

“Step towards Sifu Iroh, and Champion Zuko.”

The girl did as ordered, only a moment’s hesitation to her step, throwing a quick glance back over her shoulder as she did.

“Sokka, of the Southern Water Tribe.”

The boy who stepped out of the wagon was perhaps fifteen, no more than sixteen, with the world wary look of a trapped weasel-boar, trying to watch everything, and everyone, ready to strike at a second’s notice. From the way the Chi-Blockers tensed up as he moved, Iroh assumed there had already been an issue, but the boy looked compliant enough, all things considered. Until he moved towards his sister, and the guards shoved him back.

“No, you’re in this line,” The Chi-Blocker snapped.

“What? No!”

Quicker than Iroh could react, the scene descended into chaos. Both brother and sister started screaming, the girl crying, as they darted towards each other.

But Zuko was faster still, grabbing the girl, and spinning her towards Iroh, sparing only a passing glance to make sure that the older man had control of the girl, as he darted towards the boy.

Sokka’s fighting began in earnest, as the scarred, dark-haired boy grabbed him in a chokehold, pulling him back away from Katara, who was sobbing in the tight grip of the old man, her arms reaching out towards him plaintively.

“Katara! Let go of me! Katara!”

“Will you shut up?!” The boy holding him hissed in his ear. “You keep making a scene like this, and they’re going to take it out on her! Is that what you want? _Huh_? Do you know what they _do_ to female slaves for punishment? How much _enjoyment_ the guards get out of it? Quit giving them ammunition, you stupid shit!”

The thought hit Sokka like a load of bricks, the fight -and breath -going out of him in an instant, as if someone had kicked him in the chest. He couldn’t hold back his tears as he stared at his sister, still struggling against the older man’s grip.

The boy’s hold around his throat eased a fraction, and he spoke again.

“I’ll take care of her the best I can, alright? You worry about you; trust me, a temper like that, and you’ll have a hard enough job. She’s _my_ responsibility, and I’ll keep her safe as much as possible. But you can’t do this, or they’ll take your disobedience out on her, and I won’t be able to stop it, you understand? But if you do as you’re told, and don’t make waves, I’ll make sure she’s taken care of as well as I can; I’ll keep her from as much as I can. You have my word.”  

* * *

Mai watched silently from her position on the upper balcony, as Zuko took his two new benders, and stalked off towards the training grounds after the incident was righted between the two Water Tribe children.

She allowed herself the slightest shake of her head, staring after the three Benders as they disappeared into one of the training yards. The damn fool was pushing it; ignoring the new Air Bender, to walk away from the incoming slaves, would have been an insult in and of itself. To do so after specific orders from Ozai was to ask for punishment. And after what had happened with the last Benders Zuko had been ordered to teach, he was already treading a thin line as it was.

She moved silently down the stairs, and towards the training yard, keeping herself out of sight of the trio as she went. Ozai had ordered her to appraise the two new Benders, and observe Zuko’s training to ensure there were no repeat incidents.

Sometimes, she thought that Ozai took a perverse pleasure from setting her to spy on Zuko; even ignoring their.... recent interactions... the two had grown up together. They’d known each other since they were children, long before either of them were slaves, and it had been a few years ago when she’d realized that the stupid, twittering feeling in her stomach was from some pointless crush. She’d been a slave to House Sozin for almost two years at that point, and Ozai’s personal messenger and assistant for a year; slaves were only ever married when the Master of a House permitted it -or sometimes, _only_ because he wanted them to -and as Ozai’s personal slave, it was unlikely that he’d ever give her leave to marry anyone, much less the Champion of House Sozin.

Which made his latest games particularly cruel, given that she was almost positive he was aware of her feelings.

But she had little choice in the matter. And despite herself, she would give Ozai an accurate reporting of both Zuko, and his slaves -anything else, and he would be just as likely to punish him for her indiscretions as he was her.

She refused to be responsible for that. She’d been there, in the room, when the ‘Scarred Dragon’ had earned that title, had listened to his screams of agony, and pleas for mercy. While most in the House believed it to have been a training accident gone horribly wrong, Mai was among the handful who knew the truth of the matter. Just as she knew that Zuko’s temper, and refusal to step in-line was liable to get him killed -sooner, rather than later.


	3. Chapter 3

Zuko kept a fast pace, trusting the two girls behind him to keep up, only slowing as they entered the training yard, turning to look at his students.

The Earth Bender stood, arms folded across her chest, a small grin on her face. She was young, probably too young to be fighting in the arenas if he thought about it too hard. But she’d been fighting in them for almost two years, according to Iroh.

“I’m told you’re not blind, but that you can’t see either,” He said shortly, before quickly turning his attention to the Water girl, who was quietly crying. “Knock it off! If one of the Family sees you crying, they’ll give you a reason to cry.” He turned back towards the Earth Bender. “What exactly does that mean?”

The girl shrugged. “I’m blind in that I can’t see in the traditional sense. But I see through my feet -through the Earth.”

“You… see through your… _feet_ ,” Zuko said roughly, unable to restrain his sigh. “Of course you do.”

“Hey, I’ll take you any day of the week, Sparky! I’m the best Earth Bender in the world!” She said indignantly, causing Zuko to quirk one eyebrow at her. Sparky?

“Firstly, my name is _Sifu_ while we’re on the training yard. And off the training yard. And _anytime_ we interact, unless I tell you differently. Champion is also an acceptable alternative. But if Ozai, or the guards, hear you refer to me -or any Fire Bender -as ‘Sparky’, you’ll be lucky if they _only_ burn your fingers to nubs. Do you understand? And for the love of Agni, will you stop fucking _crying_?!” He seethed, turning towards the Water Bender again.

The girl - _Katara_ , _although her name didn’t matter much if she wouldn’t stop crying_ -sniffled, rubbing at her nose with her thick furs as she nodded.

"I'm sorry, I don't... I just... I..." Her voice trailed off, as tears welled up in her eyes again.

Zuko sighed, closing his eyes, and pinching the bridge of his nose. After a moment, he snapped his fingers at one of the younger Benders, who were considered too young for training yet.

“You! Find her some appropriate clothing. No armor yet, but something so that she won’t melt into a damn puddle at least.”

The boy nodded quickly, darting off, before Zuko turned his attention back to the Earth Bender.

“Now. You seem to think that you can beat me in a fight; would you care to test that assumption?” At the girl’s defiant nod, he gestured towards the center of the yard. “Then take your position.”

The girl moved quickly towards the spot he’d indicated, while he circled around the edge of the yard.

“These training yards are some of the most advanced and thorough in all the Fire Nation. While specializing in Fire Benders, House Sozin has Earth Benders, and even a few Water Benders for gladiators. If you stretch out your senses, you’ll see that there are small rocks scattered throughout the yard. The courtyard itself, as you can tell, is made up of easily replaceable paving stones.

“In training, and practice, the rules are simple: you will do no permanent damage to an opponent, for _any_ reason. Against an opponent who has a match within six weeks or less, you are not allowed to break bones, or cause any cuts that might result in more than a few stitches. Everything is to be done at half power; for Earth Benders, that means you throw everything at a slow speed, and you don’t raise anything more than chest height to your opponent, unless you’ve been told otherwise by myself, Sifu Iroh, or a member of the Household. Breaking these rules would be… _unhealthy_ ,” He said darkly, finally stepping into the marked spot opposite of her. As he did so, he turned his head towards the Water Bender, who was standing unsurely, chewing her lip by the edge of the ring. “For Water Benders, it’s fairly simple; your power, by its very nature, lends itself to less lethality. It’s far more defensive than offensive, although the good Water gladiators can do both.” He turned back towards the Earth Bender, and nodded. “Begin.”

 

* * *

 

 Iroh looked up, giving Zuko a large smile as the young man dropped down beside him on the raised dais, groaning as he stretched out. As Champion, and Sifu, they had their own, separate table to eat, away from the other slaves. It wasn’t much, just a small, elevated area inside the small alcove, but it was fenced off, allowing them some semblance of privacy for their meals.

“How goes the training?”

Zuko grunted, stretching his arms out until there was an audible ‘pop’ from his shoulder before responding, “The Earth Bender’s not bad; she’s only been up against other Earth Benders, so she’s got a lot of tactics to learn. But for raw power… Hell, she makes Haru look like a kid learning to crawl,” He said, a grudging sort of appreciation in his voice. “Give me enough time with her, and I think she could take a Championship one day. The Water Bender doesn’t have the skill, or the stomach, to make it in the arena, but apparently she was a healer back in her village. I thought you could ask Ozai to put her under Yugoda; the old bat isn’t getting any younger, and it won’t be long until she’s completely senile. We should probably have a new healer trained before then, and I think Katara’s got the skill to do it.”

Iroh thought for a moment, before nodding. “It could be done. Although Yugoda is far from ‘senile’, and I think you underestimate her abilities. But a second healer is never a bad idea. I’ll discuss it with the Master tonight.”

“And you? How’s your pet Air Bender doing?”

Iroh frowned at him, setting his chopsticks down next to his bowl. “He has a name, Zuko. It’s Aang. And, all things considered, he’s doing rather well. He’s still a bit in shock, I would say, but that’s to be expected. Training him will be difficult though; I know nothing of Air Bending, besides what I've read in the histories. I imagine it will take us at least a few months to work out the differences in our styles to blend to something useful in the arena.”

“How _did_ Ozai find himself an Air Bender?” Zuko mused, leaning back in his chair. “Hell, _where_ did he find him? It’s been, what, almost seventy years since the last Air Bender was captured? And then for him to end up here... I mean, Sozin might be one of the bigger houses, but I'm surprised the Fire Lord didn't just take him. Ozai must have kissed enough ass around Capital City that he might finally know how the rest of us feel,” He added with a sharp chuckle.

Iroh glanced around, before glowering over his tea cup at the boy.

“Do you realize, you endanger not only yourself, but those around you instead, when you say things like that?” He seethed. “I understand that you wish to push your limits; to see exactly how much you can get away with. But you’re going to get _others_ hurt over your _stubbornness_ , and for what? What is it, exactly, that you think you’re accomplishing, other than hastening your own death?”

“Maybe that's the point,” Zuko shot back. “Then I won’t have to listen to your fucking _lectures_ anymore.”

With that, the boy stood, and stomped off, shoving his way through the other gladiators still trying to get their meal,

Where he was going, Iroh didn’t much know. And it didn’t really matter, in the end. The boy was growing… increasingly erratic, and perhaps even volatile, as of late. While he’d never been ‘pleasant’ by nature, his attitude, and behavior had only gotten worse in the last year and a half, to a point where Iroh was at his wit’s end about what to do.

The boy looked to be in a near constant state of exhaustion, large bags under his eyes so frequently that it had become common place, despite the fact that he slept until midday most days -something particularly difficult for a Fire Bender, whose natural instinct was to rise and set with Agni.

And his fighting had changed as well. While no one would have ever accused the boy of being overly cautious, even in his first few fights, he’d grown incredibly reckless, taking stupid risks in the arena -risks that were bound to get him killed, sooner rather than later.

And that risk-taking behavior extended outside the arena as well. He’d grown increasingly insolent, taunting the guards, provoking other gladiators, and disobeying orders. If the boy didn’t right himself soon, Ozai was going to draw him a boundary line with his own blood -if he didn’t just kill the boy outright.

He sighed as he glanced down at the milling gladiators below him. He supposed, really, that he knew the signs far to well to play the fool very long; he’d seen the behavior before, if never so suddenly, or so overtly. It wasn’t uncommon for slaves -particularly the gladiators -to start to buckle under the knowledge of their lives; that they were little more than trained dogs, and would never be anything more than what they were. Iroh himself had struggled with it during his early years, before he became the Dragon of the West; the crushing weight of knowing his life was not his own, that even his hands were not his own. To know that, if ordered, he would have to take the life another, even one that he called friend, or face his own death.

But it was odd thought -most men either had the crisis at the beginning of their careers in the arena, or after five or ten years; Zuko had never seemed to have more issue with it at the beginning than any of the other Benders, and he had only fought for three -not nearly enough time for the guilt to fester and bleed into every thought.

He had to admit though, he could think of little else that could be causing the boy’s issues.


	4. Chapter 4

 Zuko stomped off towards his room, his appetite completely gone, replaced by an angry, festering in his gut that had become more and more common lately. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d actually eaten a full meal without feeling sick to his stomach. Of course, that might have had something to do with the Sake he drank himself to sleep with every morning. At the very least, it probably didn’t help.

“Champion.”

He spun quickly, the voice catching him off-guard, barely resisting the urge to throw a stream of fire.

“Mai? What the _hell_ are you doing?” He barked, his face turning red as she simply raised one eyebrow at him.

“Delivering orders,” She said dryly. “I was unaware I needed your permission to do so.”

He growled, hands clenched at his side as she moved closer, stopping mere inches from him, and it was only through supreme effort that he kept from taking a step back, glaring at her from under his bangs.

“Lady Azula is having a group of friends for the evening; she orders you to attend them while they take their evening meal, and whatever they desire afterwards.”

His eyes narrowed. “I’m supposed to help my new Benders get settled in tonight. Guess she’ll just have to do without a toy for the night,” He said with a tight smile.

“Lady Azula has already spoke to Master Ozai concerning your new trainees; he’s put Haru in charge of assisting them for the rest their first day, and tomorrow morning. Which clears your schedule to accommodate Lady Azula’s guests as long as they desire your attention.”

He couldn’t help but flinch at her words, or the dry, deadpan way she delivered them, her face completely devoid of emotion. He finally took a step back, folding his arms across his chest, taking a moment to compose himself, gathering his thoughts, before he spoke.

“Well, then of course, I would be more than _willing_ to assist Lady Azula in anyway her or her guests _desire_ ,” He said, putting all the right inflections in all the right places, smiling darkly as she finally flinched, pain flashing across her face for just a moment, before she composed herself again, folding her arms into her sleeves.

“Good. Then I’ll inform Haru of his new duties, and tell Master Ozai and Lady Azula of your _eagerness_ to please them this evening,” She said, the barest hint of tightness in her voice, before she turned on her heel, and glided away.

“Wait, Mai,” He called out, reaching out his hand. “Mai, I didn’t mean…” His voice trailed off as she ignored him, never slowing as she rounded the corner, out of his sight.

He stared at the now-empty hallway for a few minutes, before he turned, head hanging low, slamming his fist into the wall.

“Dammit!”

“Sifu?”

“What?!” He seethed, turning sharply, nearly knocking the Water Bender girl over. But in her haste, she fell, scuttling back to her feet quickly.

“I was just wondering where I’m supposed to go,” She said quickly, pulling at her new skirt uncomfortably. “I finished lunch, and they cleared everyone out of the concave, but when I asked them where to go, they wouldn’t answer me.”

Zuko shot one last look down the hallway, before turning back to Katara with a sigh.

“Yeah, about that… The Chi-Blockers won’t talk to you except to give orders,” He explained, motioning for her to walk with him. “Other than that, they mostly ignore us… If we’re lucky. But typically, after eating, most gladiators pair off for self-training for a few hours, before Sifu Iroh calls us together for training duels until the evening meal. After that, we have a few hours of free time, although I’d suggest going to bed early; Sifu Iroh wakes with the sun, and expects us in the training yard, and ready to begin practice before he arrives.”

She followed behind him, still trying to tug her skirt down below her knees, and up past her belly as she walked. “So who am I supposed to pair with today?”

“For today, I want you to just observe the other three Water Bender fighters. I’m hoping to have you placed with Yugoda in the healing tents, so there’s no point in tormenting you by forcing you to practice just yet.” When her face lit up, he stopped, rolling his eyes, as he held up one finger. “I said ‘ _hoping_ ’; there’s no promise, no guarantee. And if Ozai sees that you’re that excited about it, he’ll probably tell you ‘no’ just to spite you. You don’t _ever_ act like you’re excited about anything here. Especially if Ozai is around.” He started walking again, but after a moment’s hesitation, he stopped again, and added, “And you call him Master, or Master Ozai.”

She stared at him quizzically. “So, you don’t have to because you’re Champion?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t have to because I could give a flying _shit_ what he does to me about it. _You_ , on the other hand, have a brother who actually cares about you and what happens to you. A brother that I told I’d try to keep you safe. And copying me isn’t a good way to stay safe.”

“I… Does that… What are…”

“It’s my personal business, and none of yours,” He said shortly. “Just… do as I say, not as I do. I’ll get you to the training yard, and introduce you to the other Water Benders. After that, follow Toph and her instructor for the night; Haru will show you where to bed down.”

“What? I thought _you_ were my Sifu,” She said, a slight hitch of panic in her voice.

“I am. But I’m… otherwise _occupied_ for the evening,” He said, keeping his voice as casual as he could. “I’ll meet you on the sands in the morning, although I’ll probably be there around midday.”

“So… should I be there at noon?”

“No. Haru will collect you and Toph before sunrise, and get you there, where Sifu Iroh will take over until I get there.”

“Oh. So you don’t have to be there –“

“Because of ‘ _none of your damn business_ ’,” He said tightly, cutting her off. “I’ll be there tomorrow when I get there, and we’ll see how things go. If Iroh gets the chance to talk to Ozai, I might get to take you straight to the Healer’s Quarters from there.”

He slowed, pointing through the round archway, where the noises of the gladiators fighting could be easily heard. “Right through there. I’m assuming you can tell which ones are Water Benders… they’ll be Bending Water,” He said, his voice still carefully controlled. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”


	5. Chapter 5

Iroh frowned as he stepped into the courtyard, surveying the already-practicing gladiators, his eyes narrowing as he spotted Haru leading Toph and Katara through basic starting poses. He motioned for Aang to stand at the bottom of the stairs, before catching Haru’s eye.

“Haru! Present!” He snapped, folding his arms across his chest as the young Earth Bender indicated for the two girls to follow, demonstrating the proper stance, on both knees, hands resting on their legs. He waited until he’d finished righting the girls’ positioning, before speaking again. “Where is Champion Zuko?”

Haru hesitated for a moment, before shrugging unsurely. “I don’t know, Sifu; I was told yesterday that I would be in charge of the new Benders until midday meal today. So I showed them the grounds, explained the schedule, and some of the rules yesterday, and got them here today.”

Iroh growled a bit under his breath, turning his attention back to the courtyard.

“Benders! Attend!”

Immediately, all dueling and practicing stopped, as everyone quickly moved into two lines, standing at attention, silence falling over the courtyard.

“Has anyone seen Champion Zuko?” He called out, watching the line carefully. “Or has anyone heard where he is?” When nobody spoke, he rolled his eyes, and stepped off the stairs. “No one? Has our Champion turned invisible, that no one has seen him since midday meal yesterday?”

“Uh… Sifu Iroh, sir?”

He glanced over at Aang, who was standing there with his hand raised, shuffling his feet.

“Speak.”

“I seen him, about an hour ago. He was going into his room,” The boy said unsurely, scrapping his foot on the stone stair.

“Was he alone?”

“Yeah, he uh…Well, I think he was um… It looked like he’d been… drinking,” He finished quietly, staring at the ground.

Iroh harrumphed, turning his attention back to the line. “Resume your practice,” He called out. “When I return, we’ll begin showing our three new Benders the basics of dueling other Elements. Begin!” He turned back towards Haru and the girls. “Until I return, lead them through the basic etiquette. Take Aang with you.”

Haru nodded, standing quickly, and practically herding the other three out towards the back of the courtyard.

* * *

 

“So… I take it this is bad?” Aang asked, watching Haru, as Haru watched Iroh. The old man had marched off, practically breathing steam as he left the courtyard.

“Very bad,” Haru said plaintively. “The Sifu doesn’t get angry very often, but when he does…” His voice trailed off with a sigh. “But it’s none of our concern; it’s between the Sifu and the Champion.”

“I don’t see why it matters, honestly” Toph said casually. “I mean… Zuko’s the Champion. The Scarred Dragon; it’s not like he needs to practice. He’s the youngest Champion ever, with two titles under his belt already -I bet he could skip practice all together and _still_ take home the Water Tribe title.”

Haru turned towards her, a stern look on his face. “ _Everyone_ needs practice, girl. And voicing your opinion when it’s not asked for will lead to ration deduction at best, and a whipping at worst. Because you’re new, I’ll let it slide this time, and not tell the Sifu. This isn’t the Pits of Omashu, where nobody cares how you act. House Sozin prides itself on how its fighters act, and present themselves. And they deal harshly with any of their slaves that tarnishes that view. Understood?”

 

* * *

 

Iroh didn’t bother knocking, throwing the door open. He growled as soon as he stepped inside, the foul smell of alcohol, mixed with an acrid scent that he couldn’t quite place.

Zuko lay, sprawled across his bed, blankets haphazardly wrapped around his torso and thighs, a jug still clenched in one hand, red rice wine still leaking onto the bed in steady drips.

“Zuko! Present!”

The boy simply groaned, his head lilting off to one side a bit more, otherwise, he remained as he had before.

He growled low, his gaze searching the room, a tight smile coming to his face when he spotted the bucket of cleaning water in the corner. Crossing the small area, he grabbed the bucket, and threw it onto the still sleeping boy, who woke with a curse, shooting a half-hearted flame that Iroh was easily able to dissipate before it got close.

“Iroh? What the fuck?” The boy seethed, scrambling off the bed, still wrapped in the blanket.

“Language!” Iroh snapped, throwing Zuko’s tunic at his face. “Get dressed. Practice began twenty minutes ago.”

Zuko scoffed, grabbing the shirt before it hit him. “Didn’t you talk to the glorious Ozai? I’m excused from practice until midday,” He said sharply, throwing the tunic on the bed as he sat.

“No, I didn’t. And to be honest, Zuko, I don’t care what the Master has said; I’ve taken it easy on you for far too long. I don’t know if it’s because you are Champion, or because you are on some suicidal warpath, but I no longer care. The rules do apply to you, and as long as I am your Sifu, you will be present, on the courtyard, with the other fighters, at first light. You will drill with the other Benders, eat with the other Benders, and -until I say otherwise -you will sleep with the other Benders. Perhaps if I strip you of the pleasantries of being Champion, you will understand that you are not above the rest.”

Zuko chuckled mirthlessly as he lay back down. “Say whatever you want, Iroh. At the end of the day, we both know that you can’t overrule Ozai, and I’m a lot more fucking valuable to him than you are. You want to have me beat? Go ahead. You want to take my rations? Do it. We both know that there’s only so much Ozai will allow you to do, this close to the Water Tribe games. And after the games, nobody will care what you do. Including me.”

“You listen well, Zuko: I will drag you out of that bed, beat you senseless, drag you to the courtyard, and chain you to the wall there every day until you _stop_ this _useless_ behavior! I will not sit by, and watch you kill yourself! I won’t watch you destroy yourself! Do you understand me, boy?! I won’t stand for it! So get yourself out of that bed, get dressed, and get to the courtyard, or so help me, I will drag you there!”

Zuko glared at him for a second, before he rolled over. “Then do it, or get out. I’m done with this discussion either way.”


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, guys, this isn't a story chapter, but a request.

I'm looking for a pseudo-beta. Not someone to proof read, but someone to bounce ideas off of, to keep me in check on plot points, to warn me when I'm pushing too fast, and things like that. Because I have a nasty habit of setting an end-goal, and shoving towards it, either rushing things, or leaving important details out.

Basically, boiled to its essentials, I'm looking for a muse to help me keep the plot bunnies rolling, but in-check. So it's cool if you're not a grammar nazi, or English major, all I need is an interest in the story, a creative streak, and a working knowledge of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and its characters.

I don't care how we communicate, I'm down for most anything. Full credit will be given as a 'co-creator' if everything goes well, and we work well together. 


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